Below is my feedback notes during the discussion with my lecturer, Daniel.
There are some command error that were found in the format of the proposal. The paragraph of the have a lot of sentences break error and there are lot of typo error found in the proposal which i think need to double check more and also Daniel suggested to make use of the school english and writing department.
The main focus area is about the topic. During the discussion, Daniel voice out the topic is still not focus enough. I was being suggested to list down the main keywords and scope the area to focus my research for the essay. If it is possible, i can link back to my personal experience in Diploma.
Beside that try make use of the sources that i had research and make good use to support the essay. Try to be confidence on my personal thinking . And lastly update the timeline in blog. A gantt chart timeline for my essay schedule.
For the next blog post i will update on my proposal refinement and the timeline schedule.
